The first step to the marriage adventure is the day you are proposed to. Some would say how you are proposed to isn't significant. This simply is not true though. How you are proposed to sets up a precedent for the rest of your marriage. If he has a planned and formal proposal he will probably put more effort into your marriage then if he asks off hand while you were watching Netflix on the couch. So when a guy proposes it would be wise to take note to how it is done.
Now that you are proposed to the next stage is engagement. This is a crucial time to get to know each other and bond over wedding plans. So how long should your engagement be? That really depends on you but facts show that you don't want it too long or too short. If your engagement is long you are more likely to fall into sexual relationships before marriage. If your engagement is to short though then you could miss out on essential steps that should take place. One step is planning the wedding. If your engagement is short it makes the planning stressful instead of a bonding time between the couple. You also should have an engagement long enough where you can have full-disclosure conversations.
When planning your wedding it also would be good to make sure this is a couple bonding time. Often the planning of a weeding is between a mother and daughter and maybe the father. It would be wise to make sure the future husband is equally involved in order to let the couple grow closer together.
Lets back up for a moment though and talk about money starting with the ring. How much your ring costs can greatly effect marital satisfaction later. Statistic show how every 100$ over 2,000 spent on the ring decreases marital satisfaction. The same idea goes for the wedding. Cheaper weddings increase marital satisfaction. A good saying to go by is more guests not more money. A wedding isn't about showing off for others but instead having them celebrate your union and the creation of a new family. This even goes for the honey moon, how cheaper honey moons tend to have better marital satisfaction then expensive ones.
So how come this is so? Spending big sums of money can start a relationship off on a stressful start. If the man pays for the ring he can start the couple off in serious debt. Normally these sums of money are paid three different ways. One, the couple waits and have a longer engagement. Two, the parents pay for it. Or three, the couple pays.
First, what if you wait as a couple and push off the marriage so you can pay for it.
Like I mentioned earlier the longer you wait the easier it is to cohabitate. Cohabitating has shown to increase divorce rates and decrease marital satisfaction.
Second the parents could pay. This can lead to problems because the parents may feel like they made an investment and hence have certain rights. For example they may feel a right to plan the wedding as they see fit or they expect the couple to visit them on holidays. Also since they feel they invested into the marriage they might get unhealthily involved in the marriage to make it last.
Third the couples may pay. Like I mentioned earlier this starts the couple off in debt. Debt has proven to add great stress and rifts in marriage. The couple may have to work more to pay it off and hence spend less time together. It also has proven to make a couple less likely to desire to start a family.
Your marriage can be the happiest day of your life and lead to some of the happiest lives. If not done right though it can start a couple off on the wrong track. You should have a formal proposal, you should have an appropriate length engagement, and you should be careful how much you spend. This process can be a strengthening time for a couple, and hence it would be smart to do it right.
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