Plight of the Immigrants

I knew there was problems with immigration. I knew there was political debates about the border and what to do. I never really paid much attention though and if I am to be honest I didn't really care. Much of what I have learned has changed that though and now I want to look into  the topic and know more about immigrants. I hope that as I share what I have learned about the plight of immigrants your heart might be softened and if you are an immigrant you might seriously think before you decide to come to the U.S..

Mexican culture by large has a culture where family is very central and important. Many Mexicans come up to the U.S. hoping to supply a better life for their children and grandchildren and so on. Studies show though how it puts many stresses on a family and can ultimately destroy their healthy family dynamics.

So how exactly does that work? First lets look at the father, he is normally the first one to leave so he can make money up in the U. S. till he can bring the rest of the family up. When he gets to the US he has no job, no money, and no place to live. Many end up on the streets or in over priced apartments with other men in his position. He is away from his family and has to start from rock bottom up in order to make any money. The troubles actually start long before he gets there though. The journey to cross the border is normally about 4000 dollars, in order to pay someone to help sneak you across. In case you weren't already weighed down by the burden of cost there isn't any guarantee this stranger will actually help you. People can get killed or captured for ransom by these people they hire to take them across. Suddenly being caught by border patrol and being sent home doesn't look too bad. Lets say you make it across safety though, you are still left homeless and with no family, in a country where you probably can't even speak the language.

Back at home family dynamics also have to change. Lets focus on the mother. Mom is undergoing a lot of stress. She loved her husband and she is scared about the journey he has to take. She now solely has to take care of the kids and hence takes on the father and mother role. She probably has never worked in her life and is now required to work since dad doesn't have a job and sends back minimal money. She is trying to balance all this and she doesn't even have her husband to go to in order to let off some of the weight of it all. Meanwhile she also is probably worrying about her kids who also feel the change in the situation.

Without their father there and their mother always busy the kids are left without any strong parental guidance. Those once strong bonds weaken especially with the totally absent father, who by the way is normally gone for four years instead of the expectant one year. The children may act out for attention. Older male siblings may become more bossy as they feel a need to take the fathers role, leaving harsher feelings between once close siblings. Children also may lose opportunities. Children who normally would  have gone to college can't because they have to support the family.

This is all before they even come to America to join the father. Once they make it to America, assuming they make it safely, it isn't the dream they may have imagined. Normally they are even more poor then they where back in Mexico.  Children who haven't had there father now don't know how to have him there and the fathers become estranged to the family. Husbands and wives have to rebuild relationships and fit in the fact the mother has changed due to her having to have fit her role as a father back in Mexico. Parents often become very protective and children have little freedoms. Children normally feel very alone being away from family and friends and in a place where they don't know the language. If children do learn the language sometimes parent, children roles can be switched to where children have more power because they can communicate with others.

Of course not all stories are the same. It is almost guaranteed though that the family dynamics will change and not for the better. Most situations are actually worse then this. Many fathers come and without there family knowing it find someone else and start a family with her. We also didn't even mention the effects it has on extended family who change their roles in order to help the family who is moving. America is a beautiful land and can have lots of great opportunities. If one wants to best help their family though it may be preferable to stay in Mexico. For those who know any immigrants show some sympathy, chances are they are in a really rough situation. For me hearing about the plight of the immigrants pulled my heart string. Maybe it too will pull yours.

Family Theories.

Simply put most families can be categorized into four different family Theories. Theses theories goes as follows, Systems Theory, Exchange Theory, Symbolic Interaction Theory and Conflict Theory. Most of these theories over lap. By finding these theories within a family we can get a basic idea of why certain families might act the way they do.

Systems theory, this theory entails how problems within a family or a member in the family is due to many causes, not just one thing. This could be explained as something happening due to circular causuality instead of linear causuality. It could also be described as the old saying goes "if mom ain't happy ain't nobody happy."  Similarly, each person within a family plays a role that the family expects them to be and when that role is changed it effects the whole family dynamic and can cause problems.

The next theory is Exchange Theory. This is what I like to think of as the economic theory. In business you want to be making more money then you spend. In relationships you want to get more out of the relationship then you put in. One needs to be careful though because if you don't balance how much you give and how much you receive someone in the relationship is likely to leave.

The third theory is the Symbolic Theory. This theory explains how each person within a family has a different perspective of things. For example sarcasm. Sarcasm is where one person sends two messages that contradict each other and the first one is a lie. Now, for some people they may not see the second messge and hence perceive wrong what the other person is trying to say. Another example is if dad came home and started yelling at the kids. Mom's view may be that he is being unkind and thoughtless. However, dad's view may be that he just got fired then came home to find the house filled with toys and toilet paper everywhere in a huge mess and kids fighting on the floor. Both the mom and the dad have very different perceptions on what is going on.

The last theory is Conflict Theory. This entails  how people within the family are constantly competing for power. They work to persuade and gain influence over one another.

By better understanding these theories we can better understand why certain people may act the way they do within a family.

The world is in need of traditional famlies!

I have always believed that we live in a world where the importance of families is being diminished. I am now just starting to understand just how true that belief is.  We have seen many trends over the last few years that show a decrease in the importance of families. For one there has been a decrease in family sizes.  There have been more people having sex out of marriage and cohabiting couples which have lead to more children not being born to wedded parents and higher divorce rates. There have been less mothers at home to take care of there young children and these are just some of the many traits we have seen.  some may ask if all these traits are bad and to you I say yes and here is why.

Lets start with the trend of decreasing family sizes. I would like to quote my self from a post I had written for a class assignment. I stated, "How many children you have can economically effect our whole nation. During the time of the baby boom many started to believe that we are over populating the earth. This and other factors such as more woman in the work force and people getting married later have led to a trend of having less children. This has actually led to what will soon bthe decline in our population. Such a decline will have many negative effects.

One negative effect is we will end up with more old people then young. The average number of kids right now for people is between 1 -2 kids. This means there are less kids then parents and hence less young people to replace the old. This means there will be less people in the work force to support those who are retired. which will lead to those who are in the work force having to work harder for the same amount."  

Originally this idea of havng to work harder didn't seem like all that bad of an idea. There was less people but more people where going to college and so they where smarter people. That is starting to become not true though we are seeing more people droping out of schools and with a shrinking population we simply can't afford that.

To give you an idea of how much our population is shrinking the average person has between one to two kids.  If you have 8 couples and each only have one child then within 4 generations you only have one person. If you have a million people and each only have one child then within only 20 generations you are left with only one person.

This sounds so lonely to me. With less siblings you have less aunts, uncles and cousins in the direction we are going exstended families will become more and more obsolete. We will be forced to make fake family connections to have that support which just isn't the same. If you want to learn more about our shrinking population you can go to BYUtv.org and find the "The New Economic Reality: Demographic Winter".

Another trend we see is how there are more people having sex out side of Marriage and cohabiting couples. I admit at first I didn't understand the big deal about cohabitation besides that I believed that sexual relations should happen only after marriage. Some new facts I learned though changed that. One statistic I learned was how you are actually 3 times more likely to get a divorce if you cohabitate before marriage. One reason for this is a couple is shown to be less committed to eachother when in cohabiting relationships. Another way I heard it explained for how cohabiting leads to divorces is that you get use to living as everything is his and hers. Their bank accounts are separate, their taxes are separate, though they live together much of what they do is independent. This leads to probelmes when they do get married because neither knows how to make it theirs instead of his and hers which leads to problems.

If you still don't think divorce is enough to call sex before marriage and cohabitation a problem think about the children. Statistics show how kids live more law abiding, successful and stable lives when they grow up in a home where both parents live together and are married. As someone who grew up in a home with divorced parents it was by no means easy. I hold no ill will towards my parents and I am greatful to have my step dad and step siblings in my life who love me and support me. I can say though that growning up in a divorced home was not easy nor fun in anyway and I would have preferred to grow up in a home where there was a committed and loving mother and father.

I also quickly just want ot touch on how there are more woman working outside of the home with kids under the age of 6. I am greatful we live in a time where woman can get an education such as I am and where we can work if we need to to help us achieve personal goals and make an income. I also know though that those early years of childhood are some of the most critical yeas of development for children. What kind of home a child lives in between those ages efffet who they are for the rest of there lives. They need nurturing mothers there to help during those critical stages.

Our families are under attack! The family is where the root of where all stems. This is where we first teach people morals. This is where we teach people how to interate with others where we teach them the good from the bad. The family is where children first see their example of what the world is like. Let us bring up a healthy generation, a generation where they can grow up in good, strong and stable families. The family is important I believe this, I know this, with out a doubt and I hope through out this blog you can come to belive and know this too.

introduction

To start things off let me introduce myself! I was born in in Portland Oregon in the year 1997. When I was five my parent got divorced and I moved with my mom to Washington and have been there since. As far as interests, I love to sing and play guitar. I'm convinced dancing is the best form of exercise though I also enjoy working out. I also love watching and being in theater.  I have done horse back riding and use to visit my aunt every summer so I could go ride. I love to travel! I have family in Mexico and visit them a lot. I have also been to Europe and different areas through out the states. I love people and meeting new people. Most importantly though I love my family. they are my strength and joy.